March 17, 2022

Irregular People

“Make a joyful to the Lord all the Earth.” – Psalm 100

I had an unexpected extra week after Christmas since son-in-law got COVID on Christmas Eve and I needed to retreat to the safety of my house, so I did some serious decluttering. When I had finished some estate work and keeping in that mindset, I went on to read over the family archives and pare them down. Wow. What a hornet’s nest. Especially some of my mother’s journals. Some entries were profoundly disturbing. But at the same time these gave me an insight as to where she was coming from and why she was a really hard person to live with. No question she had some big demons to work around and inflexibility was how she managed those demons and in turn managed the lives of the people around her.

When I was a new church member, Bob Boley asked me to review a book for the newsletter: IRREGULAR PEOPLE by Joyce Landorf Heatherley, published in 1988. I think he asked me in response to a conversation I had had with him about my unusual mother. Wow. What a life changing book for me. The gist of the book is that there are people in this world whom you will never understand, so it is best to cultivate those friendships that are nurturing to yourself and don’t brood about those which are not. Even if one of those people is your mother!!!!! Definitely food for thought.

So as I continued my digging in the family memorabilia, I reveled in the joyful letters, yellowed newspaper clippings, diplomas and honors, and yes, obituaries about lives well lived. And, of course, there were pictures of the Simpson UMC in Pullman, Washington, which formed my life.

As was sung so poignantly sung at John Lewis’ memorial in the nation’s capital last year:

“When peace like a river attendeth my way, when sorrows like sea billows roll, whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say, it is well, it is well with my soul.”

Vivian Anderson